Artist Poem #1: Zach Cahill!

by | Apr 25, 2022 | Blog

Why does the unicorn have pentagram eyes, Zachary?

Because satanism freaks people out
Because they are evil
Because I worship at the altar of Baudelaire
Because “The Good” is a liar, has always been thus

Because witches will have their day
(and I’ll be burned on a pyre for Tyche)
Because all good table-turning starts by turning the tables

Because magic is spelled with a “k”

Because empires will fall
Because Capitalism is afraid of Satan, even though it is deeply satanic

Because there are so many things I forgot to say

Because you would never believe me if they didn’t

Because sometimes for no reason that is obvious I start weeping uncontrollably in the shower-
I crumple and weep – the room just fills with steam

Because that is what love looks like

Because that is what god looks like

Because if I told you I would have to kill you

Because some days are better than others

Because fairytales require judgment
and a sentence

Because music is something I hate more than anything else

Because Hecate

Because turning away is a turning towards

Because you are unwelcome here!
Get behind me Satan!

Because if I stop breathing for a second, you won’t remember me
So I keep breathing even though maybe, it would be easier if I didn’t

Because I was always afraid of vampires

Because I’m still afraid of vampires

Because I believe in the apotropaic nature of vision

Because unicorns have convinced you that they are harmless

Because glitter is worse

Because all the plains of heaven tremble at the sight of them

Because this is what apocalypse looks like
This is what apocalypse looks like!
[cue audience chant]
This is what apocalypse looks like!

Because all my friends are suffering
All of them
Every
Single
One
And most of them are trying to cover their psychic wounds with laughter
But that’s not working out so well either
It’s not funny

Because there is nothing POST about our Traumatic Stress DisOrder
No “P” just “TSD”

Because I have howled on Instagram for years and it made not one bit of difference… the Moon is still the Moon

Because animals believe in one god
And that one god is definitely not god
Not your god
Not mine
Because the god they worship is coming for you
It’s coming for everyone
Because you’ll never worship the same way again after they are done with you
The animals

Because all my people are broken
and there is nothing I can do

I’m broken
and there is nothing I can do

Because it is my only option

Because I took the wrong path to start doing hard drugs at this point in my life
(too late for that…sorry Charlie, I am not an orthodox Baudelairian)

Because that is the way the ink smudged and then it stuck
Because it’s just a drawing
Because it doesn’t really mean anything
Because I have no claim on any symbol (grad school robbed me of that)
Maybe that’s  for the best

Because if you wait a thousand years they’ll mean something different
Like, maybe, pentagrams will be a new symbol for currency
If it’s not already
it should be
The sign for money is now presto change-o ta-dah: pentagrams!
Or maybe it’s a sign of stupidity

Same difference

That’s a phrase I struggled with as a child… like gift-shop

Because sometimes I go off on a tangent

Because sometimes I go off the rails
Like some sad middle-aged romantic cliche

Because I have no idea when all my hair turned grey

Because I thought it was obviously a cry for help
Like all my art and everything I have ever written

Help!

Because I wouldn’t know what to do with that help if it ever I arrived

Because maybe that’s what love is
Maybe it is something so scary, fire-breathing, and  mystical that you have no idea what it is when it is looking right at you

When it’s right in front of you staring into your soul and it is just freaking you out because that invisibility rhymes with your deep sense of existential loneliness but inverted
but still the same thing and you just want to scream in the night as those blazing pentagram eyes meet your gaze in your unicorn dream
in your unicorn love dream
In your unicorn love dream apocalypse
In your unicorn love dream apocalypse monster of loneliness, fear, and desolation monster monster

Who whispers in your ear to settle down zach
Calm down now
Calm down
Stop your crying
Stop
I’m here
I’m here with you
I’m here with you

Alone together

in the vast empty night sky at the end of the world
where your tears are meaningless flashes of liquid fire destroying all creation forever
and ever and ever and ever

Sad tears of fire

Duncan
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