The Greatest Op-Ed of All: The Dobrzynski-Durston Proposal

August 27, 2013 · Print This Article

Guest Post by James Pepper Kelly

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Imagine that a writer named Judith H. Dobrzynski boards a plane. She’s ambivalent about her recent op-ed for the New York Times, “High Culture Goes Hands-On,” in which she mourned the loss of a classic, passive museum experience. The response was decent (63 comments and a spot on the “most-emailed” list), and the negative response didn’t go much beyond baseless ad hominems (“crank,” “elitist”). But real-world impact? Judy sighs. She tries not to think about institutions these days, their obsequious rush to digitize, crowdsource, and create a “fun experience” for all. Instead, she thinks about real change: about her upcoming fellowship at the Salzburg Global Seminar in Austria, and how she helped influence the country’s new Holocaust restitution laws. Judy sinks back into her business class seat (being a Fellow has perks!), orders a tomato juice and relaxes, thinking of all the reading she’ll be able to catch up on in the air.

Imagine that a writer named James Durston is excited. He’s boarding the brand new Boeing 797 Dreamliner and is going to be live tweeting the experience from business class (dimming windows PLUS free booze!). He’s got way too much editing to do, but right now he’s feeling good about his latest op-ed for CNN Travel, “Why I hate museums.” Sure, only 400 comments (something like 10 times that many for the “fat tax” piece) but he did score official responses from the Art Institute of Chicago and the American Alliance of Museums. He makes a mental note to re-stir the pot with a follow-up in early December. James tosses his bag in the overhead and sits down, mentally composing a tweet about the woman beside him and WHY anyone drinks tomato juice on planes?? Still, he did use SeatID–they must have something in common. He’ll save the introduction for later when he runs out of content for his posts.

Imagine that now, today, both look back and still wonder what happened. They remember the start—the Eyjafjallajokull volcano waking up, their flight being grounded in Greenland, the nervous stewardesses plying them with drinks, and more, and more. The introductions, the argument, and then the gradual, dizzy belief that their two opinions needed to be reconciled. Had to be, in fact. What if this was the end of world? Reconciliation–for humanity, for the future. So they set about writing the op-ed of op-eds, tapping out the characters on James’s phone. Finally an op-ed truly for everyone. The Dobrzynski/Durston piece appeared on a brand new WordPress site, shocking the likes of Robert Connolly, Dana Allen-Griel, Dennis Kois, Ed Rodley, and all the other voices of studied moderation stuck further back in economy, sipping orange juice, thoughtfully biding their time. As Judith and James know, sometimes the world needs action. We should thank them for reminding us of that. Below is the full transcript of the Dobrzynski-Durston article.

Hilleströminre

The Greatest Proposal for hi-fiving high culture

The current institutional climate is unsustainable. And no fun. Most museums are in grave financial straits, mostly because there are better things to spend money on. It’s time for institutions to become the friendly, self-supporting, no-gift-shop entities they always should have been. The following is a list of proposals we urgently urge to be effected.

1. We’ve heard about museums, especially smaller, local ones, creating wonderful exhibitions on tight budgets. Maybe so. Those people sitting back in economy can really chew your ear off with examples. We both enjoy periodic visits to the provinces, and writing about them too,  but let’s be honest—it needs to start in New York or Hong Kong. Trickle-down culture is real.

2. Institutions claim to generate 7 public dollars for every $1 invested. (Right. Where’d they get those numbers?) The people of Detroit did vote to raise their own taxes to support the DIA—it’s called millage, James—but that’s an exceptional case. Ann Arbor residents were forward-thinking enough to reject a new art tax. Bleeding heart art lovers need to be realistic: public funding = not the answer. Private funding = yes.

3. Museums do need to sell off work—that’s called deaccessioning (thanks, Judy). Some call up the auction houses and rush the work out the door on a stretcher. Others are models of ethical responsibility–the Indianapolis Museum of Art, for example, lists all the work being sold on its site along with reasons for each sale. That’s good, but not good enough. They should show their reasons, not just tell us about them. Imagine if the DIA did something like: [pic of Diego Rivera mural] = [pic of 25 million open lunchboxes with PB&J, apple, milk]. #Prioritize.

4. Old vases are boring (especially ones from Iran, imo). They should be sold to established patrons of the arts and other old rich people. Who else cares about/truly appreciates them anyway? Same goes for anything  more than 30 years old or that doesn’t inspire transcendence. If in doubt, just tweet us a pic.

5. In the spirit of compromise, museums should divide their days between different audiences. On Wednesdays through Saturdays they should distribute free popcorn and edamame, fill the gallery with animals from a local petting zoo, and encourage full interaction—touching, smelling, licking—with the entire collection. On Sundays through Tuesdays, the cicerones will make sure that no more than four people are in any one room at the same time, monitor how fast individuals walk, and confiscate any and all electronic devices. Individuals will be required to spend set minimum amounts of time contemplating each piece. If any individual fails to adhere to these measures, they will be required to write an essay explaining why.

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6. Eliminate gift shops and cafes. They’re so bourgeois.

7. To generate revenue, offer paid chances to feed the animals and the option to limit the gallery to even less than the standard four people (on respective days, of course). Employ local actors who will alternate between impersonating art world authorities, historical figures, and general celebrities.

8. Reenact the creation and history of items throughout the week. It will be a little like Dante’s Inferno, each actor trapped in a different area, telling his story over and over again (Judy’s description, my idea). For example, one of the actors can be Leonardo da Vinci: put the Mona Lisa on an easel in front of him and have him paint and tell the sad story of Lisa over and over to the general audience. Add drama when appropriate, regardless of accuracy. Reach out to Hollywood and book publishers, offering to add their narratives to the “official” institutional version in exchange for sponsorship.

 9. Fully integrate work on display with life by created rentable, themed rooms, e.g. The Birth Room, The Death Room, etc. True art lovers will be able to pass with their eyes locked on an original Georgia O’Keeffe, or to bring a new being into the world under Van Gogh’s sunflowers, or to make love under the Venus de Milo. Anyone attending that day will be able to watch. Both sides will pay—

Phone’s about to die, got to post now. Whatever happens, this is the truth. Follow me online!

Imagine that that this is how the op-ed ends. The volcano went back to sleep and the sky over the Atlantic cleared. Fifteen hours later the Boeing landed at Heathrow, the passengers half drunk and half hung-over, but otherwise unscathed. There, Judith H. Dobrzynski and James Durston seem to have parted ways, never to collaborate again. Judy went back to lucid commentary on the art world, James to commissioning and writing popular travel articles.

If the phone had been fully charged, how would the Dobrzynski-Durston op-ed have proceeded?  What unfortunate circumstance might the expert commentators have leant themselves to next?  Whether “real people” can or can’t actually afford to collect art? Would we be more prepared to address how an elderly Romanian woman destroyed several masterpieces in an effort to protect her son? How much change to give beggars outside famous institutions? The alleged difficulty Chicago’s south siders have had in visiting Theaster Gates’s Dorchester Projects, even as the art star is lauded for the project’s success at Art Basel?

What further op-ed wisdom could we have learned from? We can only imagine.

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James Pepper Kelly likes words, images, and the plants in his apartment. He writes for ArtSlant and Bad at Sports, and he serves as Managing Director of Filter Photo. He is currently studying to be a pataphysicist. For a little while, back in the early ‘00s, he was really good at Ms. Pac-man.




Top 5 Weekend Picks! (8/23-8/25)

August 22, 2013 · Print This Article

1. Roads Scholar at Iceberg Projects

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Work by Murat Adash, Naama Arad, Marie Alice BrandNer-Wolfszahn, and Oren Pinhassi. Curated by NEW CAPITAL.

Iceberg Projects is located at 7714 N. Sheridan Rd. Reception Saturday, 6-9pm.

2. ARGUS: Organic Visual Archive at Johalla Projects

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Organized by James Pepper Kelly, with Filter Photo.

Johalla Projects is located at 1821 W. Hubbard St. Suite 209. Reception Sunday, 3-7pm.

3. Artist intervention in Alberto Aguilar’s Home Field Play: The Wedding Cake Project at the Museum of Contemporary Art

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Work by Edra Soto.

Museum of Contemporary Art is located at 220 E. Chicago Ave. Reception Saturday, 1-2pm.

4. Jonathan Ferrara Gallery in Chicago at Firecat Projects

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Work by Michael Pajon, Dan Rule, Dan Tague, and Monica Zeringue.

Firecat Projects is located at 2124 N. Damen Ave. Reception Friday, 7-10pm.

5. Guyth at Dos Perros Projects

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Work by Luith Miguel Bendaña, Tham Lipp, Chloe Theibert, and Alithon Veit.

Dos Perros Projects is located at 859 N. Marshfield Ave. 2R. Reception Friday, 6-9pm.




“Weird Dude Energy” at Heaven Gallery, curated by Gurl Don’t Be Dumb

July 16, 2013 · Print This Article

by Chicago Artist Writers

Featuring a Guest Post by James Pepper Kelly

The following article was originally written for and published by Chicago Artist Writers // Editor: Jason Lazarus

 

Weird Dude Energy curators Gurl Don’t Be Dumb: Eileen Mueller and Jamie Steele
 
 
Andrew Mausert-Mooney & Nicholas Wylie, performance view
 

Acrostic, original formatting via PDF here. Sources liberally appropriated from the Internet. 

 

Walter Benjamin |   At the center of this exhibition is man. Present-day man; a reduced man, therefore, chilled in a chilly environment. Since, however, this is the only one we have, it is in our interest to know him. He is subjected to tests, examinations. What emerges is this: Weird Dude Energy (WDE), a layering of men, a group perspective on masculinity.

Wilde, Oscar |         But is WDE, as a meme/concept, actually on display in this show, or only in the title and statement? Is GDBD curating a show of WDE, or instead the passion of one’s friends? There’s crossover, and it may all be equal—those passions are the fascinating things IRL anyway. For me, the highlight was Andrew Mausert-Mooney & Nicholas Wylie’s performance of foot washing, massage, and chanting of “Poor Unfortunate Souls” from The Little Mermaid. It had the dignity of a ceremony, as well as its unreality, and combined the insincere character of a romantic movie with the wit and beauty that make such movies delightful to us. Is insincerity really such a terrible thing?

Weiner, Anthony |   It’s passion that’s a terrible thing, and let’s just forget about online WDE. Let’s recalculate, let’s talk this show. Now Andrew Doak’s photo: I don’t know where that photograph came from. I don’t know for sure what’s in it.  I don’t know for sure if it was manipulated. And I’m going to get to the firm bottom of that.

Eagleton, Terry |       Don’t know Doak? It’s a self-portrait as John Belushi’s character in Animal House, from the artist’s ongoing portraiture project. There are several orphaned pieces in WDE, but I’ll admit that this one does suffer the most for it. Oli Rodriguez’s photographic portrait integrates well with the other work, even though it is de-linked from the S&M series it’s part of. The problem is, what we consume now is not objects or events, but our experience of them. We buy an experience like we can pick up a GBDB beer coozie ($2.00 at the opening).

Immanuel, Kant |      Sure, there’s no doubt that all knowledge begins with experience. That’s why I bought three. But reading about the Weird Dude Energy Tumblr that was the inspiration for the show, I learned two things on the Hyperallergic comment thread: first, apparently no one reads my books anymore; and second, “Young people’s ideas about whatever is cool can have a conversation with contemporary art.” If you can’t deal with merch and memes, fine, how about Mike Rea’s virtuosic wood installation: jail cell/microphone/and, inevitably, glory hole? Out of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing was ever made.

Rahm, Emanuel |      Fucking retarded. Take your fucking tampon out and tell me what you have to say. Best was Ivan Lozano’s installation of glowing blue hands on poles. It reminds me of when I sliced off my finger working at Arby’s, went swimming in Lake Michigan, and got gangrene. That’s when I decided to become king of Chicago. Lozano fucked up his hand and made some casts based on not being able to move. Same idea, different goal. You should never let a serious crisis go to waste.

Derrida, Jacques |     Can we not talk about biography, please? Stick to the work! Look at how the hands’ blue glow syncs with Zak Arctander’s red tinted photo of the young man in a Vans cap, shown from his chest up. Whatever precautions you take so the photograph will look like this or that, there comes a moment when that photograph surprises you. It’s the other’s gaze that wins out and decides—which Arctander must be thinking about because look, he made sure the man’s eyes are covered by his cap! Rrose, with your own compromised intuitions, what did you like?

 

Duchamp, Marcel |    I just like—breathing. It’s so necessary that I don’t question it.

Umberto, Eco |         You are odd. Weird, I mean; but then, it’s only petty men who seem normal. Didn’t you like Alex Gartelmann’s limp aluminum baseball bat, bent over a wooden peg? A mash-up of your own readymades and an ‘80s sculptural phallus, a strong piece with good position.

Duchamp, Marcel |   I don’t believe in art, I believe in artists and the most interesting thing about artists is how they live. All this twaddle are pieces of a chess game called language.

Eco, Umberto |          Perhaps…. Maybe I’m—maybe all this is not as wise as it likes to think it is. And if Jacques’s right about epistemic plurality, is this some eternal zugzwang, as you chess people say? It’s true that the most interesting letters I receive are from people in the Midwest, people like the lone figure in John Opera’s lovely, desolate Wisconsin landscape. So let’s turn to their official sources instead!

 

Newcity Art (B. Stabler)| A variety of manly tensions are borne out by the juxtapositions in the group show “Weird Dude Energy.” In the end, there’s just nothing that says “competence” like a great curatorial concept enjoyably, even suavely, executed.

Rrose, Sélavy |           Fine, fine. You do have to have an official existence. Intermezzo. One more, back to the living, then the end.

Jason Foumberg |      Weird Dude Energy, a concept and an exhibition, probes the unkempt desires of men.  You know how guys act when they’re all together, without women around?  This show amplifies that vibe with work from 17 male artists.

You + Yr Friends |      _________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________.

END

Sources:  Walter Benjamin: “The Author as Producer”, Reflections. Wilde, Oscar: The Picture of Dorian Gray. Weiner, Anthony: “GPS Speech” to Springfield Community Church, et al.; Interview with Emily Miller, Washington Times. Eagleton, Terry: How to Read a Poem. Immanuel Kant: “Idea for a Universal History with a Cosmopolitan Purpose”. Rahm Emanuel: Comment on a liberal group’s concerns about Obamacare, Wall Street Journal; Response to a male staffer, New York magazine; Interview, Wall Street Journal. Derrida, Jacques: There is No “One” Narcissism, Interview with Didier Cahen. Duchamp, Marcel: Line for the character “Marcel Duchamp”, The Mysteries and What’s So Funny, David Gordon (referencing Interview with Jean Antoine, The Art Newspaper); Interview with Jean Antoine, The Art Newspaper. Umberto Eco: The Name of the Rose; Duchamp, Marcel: The Writings of Marcel Duchamp; Letter to Jehan Mayoux. Eco, Umberto: Interview with Nigel Farndale, The Daily Telegraph; Interview with Adam Langer, Book magazine. Newcity Art (Bert Stabler): “Review: Weird Dude Energy/Heaven Gallery”. Rrose Sélavy: Interview with Jean Antoine, The Art Newspaper; Jason Foumberg (Chicago Mag.com): “Weird Dude Energy Promises a Freaky Prelude to Father’s Day”. You+ Yr Friends: _________________________________.

 

Gartelmann, Arctander

Left: Alex Gartelmann, Over and Over and Over, 2011, installation view. Right: Zak Arctander, Firehouse, 2013

Ivan LOZANO, MILAGROS I, MILAGROS II, and MILAGROS III, 2012

Ivan LOZANO, MILAGROS I, MILAGROS II, and MILAGROS III,
2012, installation view

James Pepper Kelly likes words, images, and the plants in his apartment. He serves as Managing Director of Filter Photo and is studying to be a pataphysicist. For a little while, back in the early ‘00s, he was really good at Ms. Pac-man. 

Chicago Artist Writers is a platform that asks young studio artists and art workers to write traditional and experimental criticism that serves under-represented arts programming in Chicago. CAW was founded by Jason Lazarus and Sofia Leiby in 2012. This is our first guest post on Bad at Sports. www.chicagoartistwriters.com